Arizona was getting very into her yoga and even though the lessons were Freja’s idea, some days, when Arizona slid on those skin tight pants, then Freja slid her out of them and then like ten minutes later Arizona slid back into them again, sometimes Freja seemed… well… jealous.
At first Freja would “supervise” all of the yoga lessons, but there are only so many times you can stare at someone’s ass in the downward facing dog before you start to wonder, “Is there more to life than just oversexualizing low impact workouts?
During dessert that night (strawberry shortcake) (they were all out of whip cream because of the night before) Arizona started to ask Freja if there are any hobbies she had ever considered.
“I have my music” Freja said and Arizona quickly asked, “What else?” because she didn’t want to hear Freja sing Mandy Moore again.
“Well, there is this one thing…” Freja said, uncharacteristically shy. Arizona was intrigued.
“Wait here,” Freja said and then scampered away from the table as Arizona watched her go and made a noise that was like, “MMMMMyeahhh”
Ten minutes later, Freja returned with a microphone and a notebook.
“Are you going to read your poems?” Arizona asked.
“No, this mic is hooked up to the stereo and the neighbors asked us to stop saying, ‘savory juices’ loudly,” Freja reminded Arizona.
“Whatcha gonna do, baby?” Arizona asked.
“STANDUP COMEDY,” Freja said into he mic.
“Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy,” Arizona said in her head.
“Okay so, my first joke is,” Freja started out and Arizona was already like, Maybe it will start raining and this electrical equipment will kill us all. Is that a rain cloud in the sky? Maybe? Please.
“-is,” Freja continued, “Everyone always comes up to me and is like ‘What do your tattoos mean?’ and I’m like, “I don’t know, what does your muffin top mean?’ ” Freja said and then laughs. Arizona tried to laugh, but she still had a little baby weight, even after the yoga. This was a sensitive topic.
“Okay, the second joke,” Freja said with misplace confidence, “is, like, okay I miss Lee more than anyone, but how does that smelly bitch Lady Gaga make Mcqueen look like McDonalds?” Freja laughed at this joke, Arizona tried to giggle.
The jokes continued, sadly, aimlessly- like a Tyra Banks photographed editorial.
About five minutes in, Freja laid down and did an unfunny bit about people who don’t wear all black clothing.
Arizona, grateful that there wasn’t a bit about “mom haircuts”, walked over to Freja and picked her up.
After carrying her sad clown inside, Arizona said, “I have a joke for your act,” and Freja looked at her hopefully, “Tell it to me.”
“Okay,” Arizona said, “The joke is… Saskia de Brauw for Chanel.”
***NOTE THIS IS FICTIONAL***