TODAY IS FREJA’S BIRTHDAY.
EVERYONE WISH FREJA A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I hope she has an amazing day and she’s able to put the
“Balmain Incident” out of her head on this fine, fine day.
~-~FLASHBACK TO: The Balmain Incident~-~
It all started off as a normal Balmain show: sequins, some other shiney shit, and enough studs to cover jackets for at least two gangs of gay bikers.
Freja, as per usual, was casually flirting with the girls, when a scream silenced the room.
“Oh no did someone deflate Crystal Renn with one of those safety pins?” Freja asked, worried that Crystal Renn goo would get on the garments.
“Maybe someone put on footage of Kayne’s collection from PFW!” Kasia said, afraid.
“Save yourselves…get out while you can!” sobbed Karmen Pedaru, entering the room looking severely shaken.
“Karmen, what’s wrong? Did someone remind you that you had cornrows in your last Vogue Paris Ed? Don’t worry, we don’t blame you for that,” Freja said reassuringly.
“No…Freja, it isn’t that…it’s..it’s her… with…”
Freja looked confused. “Nicki Minaj? Oh man I hope they fuck around with Anna again and put them together.”
Karmen points across the room, her face awash in pure dread.
“Freja, darling!” echoed through the backstage area as a tall girl appeared, holding something.
It was Arizona.
Arizona had booked Balmain.
“This is bullshit, why can’t I have just one thing for myself,” Freja growled.
“You do,” Arizona said, “Me!”
Freja smiled, she softened and they kissed and touched each others butts and it was like it never happened. If Arizona can forgive Freja for the time the evil Bruce Jenner puppet made her dial Abbey, Freja can forgive Arizona for booking Balmain.
Well, she could until she saw what Karmen was freaking out about.
This wasn’t about Arizona.
This was about the cake that Arizona began to wheel out towards Freja, while she sang, “Happy Birthday To You!”
The models looked on horrified.
“Arizona, what the fuck is this?” Freja asked, stunned, but still looking for a fork because the cake looked good.
“Happy birthday, Frejycakes!” Arizona squealed.
“Aw. Fer serious, this is cute and all, but my birthday isn’t til October 18th,” Freja said.
“Fucking wikipedia fucking sucks,” Arizona muttered, then tasted a bit of white icing.
**NOTE THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION**