~-~February 2011~-~
Freja was just getting to know Arizona. Life was changing so fast. There was the ghost of her old party nights and the excitement of her new butterfly filled days.
Freja was in love. All those afternoons, walking around the city with Arizona, looking in little shops and making fun of Arizona because she doesn’t book as much runway so she can’t afford nice things.
One such afternoon, Arizona pulled Freja into in an antique store to look at “old shit”. Arizona considered anything made before when you could hang a TV on the wall, an antique.
Losing each other in the store, Freja found herself in an isle of old toys and she heard someone calling her name, “Freja!” the voice said.
Freja’s perfect cheek bones looked left, then right.
“Freja!” the voice said again.
“‘Zona?” Freja asked, her voice trembling for a moment.
“Down here,” the voice said. Freja looked down to find a puppet of Bruce Jenner in his PJ’s. “Hi Freja,” the puppet said. Freja wanted to run, but something made her stay. “Take me home, Freja” the Bruce Jenner puppet demanded and Freja picked up Bruce Jenner puppet. Freja had agreed to not take girls home anymore since she had Arizona. She never made a promise about taking home creepy Keeping Up With The Kardashian puppets.
***
Freja laid on the bed as Arizona took a post-shopping post-doing-kissing-and-stuff clean off shower.
“Freja!” a bag on the floor said. Freja paniced because she couldn’t remember if she was supposed to be babysitting.
Freja pulled the bag onto the bed and Bruce Jenner Puppet immediately flew out of the bag and climbed on her shoulder.
“Put my tiny ass hand in your hand,” Bruce Jenner Puppet commanded and Freja complied.
“You should call Abbeybaby,” Bruce Jenner Puppet whispered and in a spaced out drone Freja repeated, “I should call Abbeybaby.”
Taking out her blackberry, Freja clicked on Abbey’s name and the phone rang once, then Abbey answered. “I have to say something,” Freja said, almost in a trace. “I really like your band,” Freja says, “I think it’s cool. I think that you’re the best tamborine player since that bitch from Josie and the Pussycats. Not the bullshit movie version. The cartoon. I miss-” Freja stopped speaking when she saw Arizona standing in the doorway. She had heard everything.
“Tiny Bruce Jenner made me” Freja said.
Arizona marched over to the bed, snatched Bruce Jenner puppet off Freja’s shoulder and opened the window next to the bed. Bruce Jenner puppet was thrown out into the street right at the same time shitty Coco Rocha drove by in her shitty Prius and ran over Bruce Jenner doll.
***
~-~Later in February 2011~-~
The greatest living fashion designer sits at his vanity and fills in his skinny ass mustache. The doorbell rings and the designer is so startled he swipes the eyebrow pencil crudely across his cheek.
The help had the day off so the designer had to answer the door himself. When he opened up the thick wooden front door, he found a simple, long, rectangular package on his doorstep.
“Presents for John!” the designer said gleefully as he picked up the package.
Bringing the gift inside, he carefully opened the brown paper wrapping, then slide the top off the wooden box.
“Baby sized Bruce Jenner! What are you doing in a tiny box?” the designer exclaimed as he looked down at his surprise guest.
“I’ll tell you about it over a drink, John,” Bruce Jenner Puppet said.
“I can’t start drinking, it’s 11am,” the designer said.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” Bruce Jenner Puppet asked, settling on John’s shoulder.
*****NOTE: THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION.*******
